There is no concrete reasoning that sheds light on why people gossip. Whether it is at home, school, office or anywhere else, human beings derive innate pleasure in talking about their fellow human beings. They love to know about all the juicy details regarding another person’s life. People, in general, love to gossip about anything and everything that catches their fancy. But again, it also cannot be denied that gossip always holds more interest if the person being gossiped about is portrayed with a grayer tinge.
“We gossip about somebody when we find some perceived flaws in their personality. These supposed blemishes that defy our normative notions of what is right and wrong act as a brilliant catalyst to fuel our gossip against them,” says Ritika Singh, 25, who lives in Battis Putali.
According to her, gossip is all about entertainment, above and beyond everything else. “It doesn’t matter if you’re an old lady staying idle at home or a busy corporate employee with hardly a minute to breathe, your ears always get perked up the moment they smell some good, juicy gossip,” she says with a smile.
Human beings are social animals and it is really difficult for them to imagine themselves as a separate entity away from the different dimensions of the society. Every move they make, every thought that passes their mind and every action that they take is scrutinized by prying eyes and raised eyebrows. You are talked about if you achieve something great but you are talked about more if you make a mistake. People smile knowingly if you are in a relationship and they whisper behind your back if you happen to be single. No matter what you do, gossip follows you like your very own shadow.
According to Bina Bhattarai, a postgraduate student of Tribhuwan University, gossips need not always be harmful and malicious. She thinks that it is just about sharing information and having innocent fun with those that are close to you. If there was no such thing as gossip, she feels, everybody would be living in their own bubbles and they would never be aware of what is happening around them. Gossip, in her opinion, presents different sides to a person’s personality, and it is up to the listeners to filter things out and choose to believe a certain chunk.
“Gossip, when it’s done under a certain limit, is actually quite informative and entertaining. As long as it shouldn’t turn vindictive and hurtful, it’s quite alright for a fun time-pass,” she says.
However, there is a thin line that separates harmless gossip from spiced up exaggerations that can break a person’s heart and poison the relationship between different people within no time. And since most of the times, gossip sprouts from jealousy, dissatisfaction and insecurities, one must always be careful before indulging in it. You never know who may twist your words to their advantage and create a mess that you might have never imagined to begin with.Nabina Shahukhala, a postgraduate student at Pokhara University, thinks that gossip is a wonderful way to vent out frustration. For instance, you cannot say anything bad about your boss, elders or teachers on their face. But if there is something about them that irks you or makes you unhappy, you take it out of your system behind their backs. That not just makes you feel lighter but also helps you have your much needed catharsis.
“I don’t think it’s wrong to gossip if it helps you stay sound and happy. Imagine if you have to live with all that dissatisfaction bottled up inside you! I think gossiping is quite healthy as long as it’s limited to getting things out,” she says.
Generally, girls are accused of being bigger gossips than guys because it is believed that women always have more to say about any topic in comparison to men. Moreover, since their voices are silenced more often than those of men’s, gossiping is the best way of channeling out the tensions and frustrations from their minds.
“Whether it’s a daughter-in-law complaining to her mother about her mother-in-law or a wife sharing her marital problems with her trusted friend, I think it helps people to maintain their sanity,” says Nabina.
Her ideas are supported by Rojina Manandhar, Clinical Psychologist at NORVIC, who believes that the trend of gossiping is universal. From those who chatter in the village stone taps to those who murmur over tall champagne glasses, it is one of the major parts of socializing. Sometimes people find out more about the others through gossiping than face-to-face encounters. Gossiping is a major way through which people form acquaintances and create certain images of those around them in terms of their own mentality and perspectives.
“I think it’s just natural for a human being to gossip. Gossiping isn’t limited to just a particular gender, class or age group. It’s one of the most common human traits. It provides fun, helps you relieve your stress, makes you feel like a part of a certain group and is an essential socializing behavior,” she says.
So, the next time you come across your distant aunt whispering about that girl in blue who is seeing that boy in black, stop for a moment before you pass a comment about her interest in other people’s lives. Just regard it as something quite natural. If her talk doesn’t hold your interest, there is always the option of changing the subject or not responding at all. But in case you decide to go ahead, be careful not to let any malevolent judgment color your innocent fun.
by Republica
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